I wanted to share some pretty exciting news for us. At the end of June, Katie and I welcomed our third baby into the world.
Even though this is our third go around, I still feel brand new to being a parent every single time. I was talking to one of my student’s mom who had just had her 8th! I wonder if it ever starts to feel routine.
But we’re really thankful that our new daughter, Ferryn, and my wife, Katie are both doing really well.
I won’t lie, having three kids is pretty intimidating. We’re outnumbered now. But we’re confident that we’ll be able to get into a solid routine just like we have before. People tend to think you’re crazy for having three kids, but usually expect for you to have two.
Where are you on the path when it comes to the expectations from others for your life?
If you’re single, you may often be asked when you’re going to get a boyfriend or a girlfriend.
After that, you’re usually asked when you’re finally going to settle down and get married.
Then, people will immediately wonder when you’re going to buy a house(something you shouldn’t rush to do).
Pretty soon, people will wonder when you’re going to have a baby. You just got married and now everyone wants to know when you’ll be having a kid. And it would be completely fair to say that it’s the furthest thing from your mind.
I can tell you that one kid won’t be enough, and you’ll be asked when you plan to have another.
The pièce de résistance comes when people find out you’re having a third.
“Ohh?”
As in, “are you crazy?”
Yes…Yes we are. Because as Jim Gaffigan puts it, “having a third kid is like you’re drowning and then someone throws you a baby.”
As we were preparing to have her, I had a thought about having children as it pertains to money.
It’s really expensive to bring a new baby into the world and it’ll be way more expensive before we’re all said and done and she leaves our house.
But what we’ve decided is that no matter the cost, it’s just completely worth it.
Yes, it’s definitely going to take some figuring out. We are in a choke point. That’s what I call those points in your life where your expenses tend to max out against how much you’re earning. Like how we have a mortgage and daycare expenses for the kids.
There’s no doubt that we are going to have to be the most resourceful we’ve had to be since both getting a job.
However, having a family is something that I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember. It may be because I was luckier than most with the childhood I had and I wanted to share that with a family of my own.
But there’s few things I love more than being dad.
I say this knowing that this is my dream. It may not be yours.
Oftentimes, those expectations for starting a family fall on people who simply don’t have that dream. It can be hard to get family to understand that children just aren’t coming down the pipeline. But that’s the thing about dreams, just because people don’t understand it doesn’t make it any less valid.
And I also know that we’ve been luckier than most. For some who share my dream, starting a family isn’t as simple, and is a source of stress, frustration, and pain.
I’m thankful for what we have and I’m aware that it’s not always that easy.
For me, having children is one of the most rewarding things you can do.
And even though it might not seem like the most prudent investment, sometimes we aren’t spending our money on things that make the most sense or will give us a return that we can see in our bank accounts.
So I won’t be reading the articles that talk about how much I’ll spend on my kids by the time they leave college because that number doesn’t matter.
What matters is taking care of my family and gifting my kids the chance at a childhood like I had.
As always, let me know your thoughts.
Leave a Reply