If there’s one thing I’ve done really well on in this life so far, it’s choosing who I married. Katie is not only my soulmate, but we make a really good team if I do say so myself. What’s great is that the longer we’re together, the more we grow together. I think we’re more on the same page today than we’ve ever been.
What you’ll find is that the way you handle money as a couple is going to have a significant impact on your marriage. When you’re considering who you want to spend the rest of your life with, it’s going to be really important that you talk about money and the way you both view it pretty early on.
Finances can really put a strain on your relationship because it really can be stressful.
While it’s important to make sure that all has been revealed before you decide to get married, like how much debt each of you carries, you’ll also want to discuss if you’ll combine your finances after you tie the knot.
Combining finances helps you move as a team.
When you’ve combined your finances, all of the money that you earn goes into a big pot all together. Then, as a couple, you’ll need to decide together how you’re going to be spending your money.
It’s no longer yours and theirs, it’s all of your money together.
What do you want this money to do?
How does this money need to be spent?
What goals are you looking to achieve?
This will be a big exercise in communication, trust, and moving forward as a team.
You’ll have one pot of money to move through your goals as efficiently as possible, slicing through barriers together, and moving as one.
When you’ve combined your finances, it’s all our debt. And you want to get rid of it as quickly as possible together. You prioritize each other’s dreams, working to make it happen for them.
When your finances are separate, you have to bill each other.
I don’t know about you, but I got tired of that real quick in college. Katie and I lived together for a year before we got married, and it was just a real pain to be sharing a place, sharing electricity, internet, TV, and food, yet having to get everything split up the right way.
I still remember buying groceries together and then asking the clerk to pay for each half so we could split it.
When you’re married, it’s all ours. You don’t want to have to be billing your spouse like they’re your roommate. What if you’re the one that’s great at money, and really has a handle on all of your bills but your partner isn’t and they forget to pay the electricity bill?
If you’re great with money, it’d just be better if you handled all of it, and you can do that with all of the money that you’ve earned together. It’s likely that your spouse doesn’t even want to mess with those bills.
Combining your finances actually makes your whole financial picture much simpler.
Put Mad Money in the budget.
That’s not to say that you don’t both need a little spending of your own.
In our budget, we both have small categories that our ours to spend however we want. We don’t need to check in with each other, see if it’s ok, or talk about if that’s the best way to spend our money. It can be spent on a whim.
Sometimes this money is called mad money. I guess so you don’t go mad when trying to stick to a budget with your spouse?
Just because you’ve combined finances doesn’t mean that you won’t need a little spending that’s separate from your spouse.
It’s also important to think big picture and to dream a little.
The longer Katie and I are married, the more like each other we become. We usually share the same dream, so deciding to head in the same direction is usually easy for us. We started out pretty similarly, but we only keep getting closer.
It’s likely that you share many of the same dreams with your spouse. But it’s also important to support each other on the dreams that they have or vice versa.
You’re here for each other. And the more you can support each other financially, the more of a boost to your relationship you’ll get.
Remember, fighting over money is a major contributor to divorce. If you’re finding that you’re having trouble getting on the same page financially as your spouse, spend some time dreaming a little, getting on the same page, and working to head in the same direction.
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